[ Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing.”] And they divided His clothes and cast lots.
Jesus asked the Father to forgive the men who were casting lots for His clothing, for hanging Him on the cross, for the severe unthinkable punishment they inflicted upon Him...He died on the cross for ALL of us so that we may be forgiven for our sins and not suffer the cross ourselves, so we could have a real relationship with God and so we could live in eternity with Him if we so choose.
I have had to say this quote of Jesus' many times as I realize people must truly NOT know what they are doing or else they would not do it. I know they may think they know and we may be sure their intent is to inflict pain...but if they fully knew the depth of their action, unless ill, they would not do what they are doing.
I am a person who believes there is good in everyone. I have seen and been victim to some very evil things in my life. Through this pain I have gone through most the "normal" steps of grief and in time have gone on to forgive. Becoming a Christian did not make forgiveness easier in the pain department but I understood the reasons behind the need to forgive and that forgiveness doesn't mean we welcome the offender back into our lives and allow them to hurt us again.
Living most of my adult life as a believer in a god I created, I hurt so many people mostly unintentionally though I know they and others would never believe that because the things I did were so hurtful and seemingly cold and selfish. I am not saying they are wrong, on the outside they are so right, but my inside was not meaning for that to present the way it did.
I read some really hateful and hurtful things from believers in the One true God. When I read them I say Luke 23:34. If they knew how they sounded and the meat of the matter they should have hearts of compassion and repent of what they said...I know I have. I was so fired up about a topic and I had been belittled so often over the topic I stopped realizing how I looked to others as I posted things and said hurtful words to those who were not doing as I did. When a few people I love said something to me about what I was saying I was floored... I DID say those things and it WAS put out there in a hurtful manner. I couldn't take it back and I was under such condemnation for a mistake I know I made for at least 4years of my Christian life. I had to keep telling myself " Anyone who truly knows me, knows I may have been grossly off to say what I did but they also know that is not who I am. I repented to God and publicly and I had to walk away from all of it. If I had stayed focused on what I did...as the enemy wanted...I would have been rendered useless because I had thoughts of " How can I be used of God when I said that???" Well Paul was one of the greatest and he had been a murderer...sooooo...I think I can still be used.
Having lived a life of so many public mistakes before and after giving my life to Christ and knowing who I truly am inside, has given me such great compassion for so many. Having great compassion makes me hurt in my heart quite often as I see others misjudged, and I am still under that same judgement from people as well. I have read comments from Christians like " 'Only God can judge me' means ' I know what is wrong and I still don't care.' " Okay sure maybe for some...but for most it means " You aren't me, you haven't lived the life I have an no matter how hard your life is you still don't know how you would react or what you would do if you were me!"
Let me give you the shortest wrong judgement that was placed on me by people I no longer know. I was 26 years old and working my way up the ladder at work. In my personal life by this age I had been in abusive relationships and used by many people. There are too many details to this to list. At work I had been sexually harassed many times but always felt that I could handle it and I let it go and told no one, until the day two younger girls came into the office and wanted to file a sexual harassment complaint against one of the same men who had harassed me in the past. It then dawned on me that it WASN'T about me. Had I turned the guy in when he harassed me, he would not have been there to harass these two girls and that harassment didn't have to be part of their life. I vowed to turn in my complaints in the future. Flash forward I am in my office, I was the head of asset protection so my office was the security room...it had no window. I was in the office with another manager, it happened quite often as I ran the cameras too and often they wanted me to see what the employees in their area had done. This time when I was going home I got up and so did the other manager, they went to open the door for me...so I thought but instead they stood in front of it. Scared I went into my own personal survival mode. I was married and did not want anything to happen to me that would jeopardize my marriage so I started with laughing to give the harasser a chance to be like " oh yah...just kidding." but this just made their whole demeaner change and it was like I was looking at a monster, the person looked so different. I then pointed at the video screen to show there are cameras in my office, and they then made me aware they had already looked and saw where they would be safe to stand off camera. I panicked, no one will look for me, I am the manager that no one sees! I then went to flattery. " You are the kind of person I would want to be with but I am married and I will not do that to my husband." nothing they weren't moving an inch. " I thought you were attractive right away, but I could never act on anything because I am married." still they didn't budge and kept persisting. Finally I said no again but promised not to tell. After a million promises they allowed me to leave but I was told I could not go to the back of the store I had to exit through the front. So I did. I had a hard decision to make, keep the promise and risk the same thing happening again to me or others, or tell and risk being harmed because this would be a career ender and a family destroyer for this person. I had to tell the truth. After I told the truth a woman judged me, " I see you smiling on camera...Why would you smile if you are scared???" Spoken like a person who has never been cornered by a man before. I explained myself only to get the " Uh huh" like "sure, right". I was asked why I didn't run for the phone or hit him or fight...No one knew where I came from, no one knew my past. Maybe this woman would have ran for the phone, maybe another would have kneed him and tried to push him out of the way, but I was thinking..."just make him think it is okay and you'll make it out." I did make it out, untouched. But my husband at the time still judged me, the investigating managers judged me and it leaked to the other men in the store and they all made jokes about watching what they said around me or they may get brought up for sexual harassment...I was the joke. I was because no one knew what happened and where I came from. They could not imagine what it would be like to have been ME in there. The manager who got fired friends were head hunters...out for my head, after the day I turned him in and it wasn't long before I lost my career too. A high price to pay but no other girl in at least that company had to go through what I did.
So when I read or hear about people judging others it hurts in a deeper way because I can identify with how off judgement can be. Judgement can be smaller too. I recently read some comments about people posting the "if you're my friend" posts on FB. I personally don't care for them as to post them myself, but I don't see them as threats either. The people I have as friends would not threaten me with loss of friendship "if". What I see is someone either wanting to have fun as some of these ask that the person write something made up below in comments, some may just feel alone that day and think I wonder if anyone really DOES care, so they post hoping to be encouraged, another may do it because a friend posted and they commented on their post so they felt it wrong not to share the post as suggested. etc. The possibilities are endless to the reasons why, but I do know most people are good hearted, just a lot are also hurting. Maybe they did want to say " If you're my friend you will comment and repost this". Maybe they did sit back and think "anyone who doesn't respond is off my friends list. But maybe also they believe no one cares because in their private life there has been so much pain and they have not felt many people care for them, maybe their feelings of alone are unfounded but they still feel that way...Maybe they need more from the "Christian's" around them. I also understand that people who are upset by these may also be coming from a place of personal experience with people truly meaning "if you're really my friend...".
Now the cynical Christians(shouldn't have those) would say. We are supposed to seek God, Jesus alone is sufficient for us all....okay you go through a life threatening illness on your own without love and support from others. Go ahead...Jesus is enough, you said it yourself. The truth is JESUS IS enough, He is more than enough, but not all of us are at that point. We are supposed to encourage and edify each other...not beat down, judge and abandon because we think they should have gotten that Jesus is enough by now... Oh oh sad it is to think this is how so many of the body treat each other, let alone those we are supposed to be a witness to :( I by no means am perfect, what I do realize though is that I am NOT, and that I need to self evaluate and pray for His eyes, His ears, His wisdom, etc. Less of me and more...so much more of Him.
Dear Lord God, heavenly Father seated high, Lord above all lords, King above all kings, pour out all that You are in to us, take all that we are not and help us to do as You would do and be as You are. Help us to stop our self righteous judgements and be filled with godly compassion for all we come in contact with. Let us hear You and pause to listen to You before we speak or type. Let us not be quick to laugh at and judge but let us be quick to encourage and hug. We ask this of You and we thank You in Jesus' name, amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.